Christmas is not only a time of warmth, joy, and giving but also the truth, it is also chaos with last-minute shopping, tangled Christmas lights, and endless holiday meetings. Humor can be the key catalyst during times of gatherings and the hustle and bustle. Laughter is not just the icing on the cake, it is the whole cake. It knits people together and makes small moments glow with beauty.
In this collection, we have gathered the 16 humorous Twig and contemporary Christmas quotes from great voices in order to brighten your holiday season with some laughter. In addition to sharing these quotes on cards and letters, you can also post them on social media and be certain that your friends, family, or a Grinchy person will get the holiday happiness along with a sprinkle of laughter.
1. “Christmas is a time when you get homesick—even when you’re home.”
This quote gives a light-hearted way of the nostalgia of Christmas. Christmas is the holiday that gives us the best feeling of warmth and closeness, and even if we are around family, often makes us feel homesick. It’s an amusing way of showing us how Christmas makes us yearn for simpler times, even in the busiest years.
2. “A lovely thing about Christmas is that it’s compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together.” –Garrison Keillor
Keillor in his humorous observation describes the inescapable nature of Christmas. A thunderstorm is a good analogy to a holiday season that can affect everyone whether you’re ready or not. It’s a funny reminder that even if Christmas is too much, we all go thru this holiday season together, making the shared experience more unforgettable.
3. “The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.” — George Carlin
Trust for George Carlin to make a subversive twist in Santa’s cheerful nature typical of him to a jolly one! This satirical quotation tweaks Santa’s iconic naughty or nice list from identifying if the truth or the vice is the cause and adding a joke to the magic of the holiday. Carlin’s sense of humor is undoubtedly eternal, thus, the slogan is suitable for casual holiday lovers to enjoy Santa as a fun character.
4. “Nothing’s as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas.” — Kin Hubbard
Hubbard highlights the globalized child’s frustration that toys are often turned into socks and pajamas that can only be given to them on a limited number of occasions. This witty quotation underlines the hilarity in the transformation of Christmas morning anticipation when something useful is unwrapped. It’s a good excuse for parents to make their children live birthdays as the main reason of satire and Christmas to be a humorous holiday.
5. “I love Christmas. I receive a lot of wonderful presents I can’t wait to exchange.” — Henny Youngman
Youngman’s anecdote reflects the commonality of home experience in those who have ever received a debatable holiday gift before. Everybody has a relative or friend who is so out of touch that they buy you gifts that you despise, thus the phrase succinctly portrays the playfulness of trading in the “unique” for what you really desire. It’s a piece of cake to remember that gifts are not always just what they should be.
6. “There are 17 more people at the mall than last Christmas. I counted.” — Homer Simpson
From the fictional genius of Homer Simpson, this short statement captures the turbulent energy of Christmas shopping quite well. The feeling of the still-full mall is actually even more so during the holidays, and the amusingly ‘timed’ count-up by Homer is a light-hearted, relatable exaggeration. Funny enough, Homer’s comment is clearly satirical while at the same time, it can be seen as an encourager to people who don’t have the right attitude towards the dangerous task of enduring the holiday mob.
7. “Santa Claus has the right idea—visit people only once a year.” —Victor Borge
Borge has the most brilliant idea. Santa becomes a master of boundaries by only arriving on one occasion. Alluding to over-scheduled people getting caught up in a whirlwind of parties, this quote designs the best thoughts for those who find themselves crammed in an impossible situation. It brilliantly reminds us that a good option for ensuring the Christmas spirit’s vitalization is to be together but not all the time.
8. “One of the nice things about Christmas is that you can make people forget the past with the present.”
A funny twist of language, the quote from Marquis is, nonetheless, very touching and moving. The take-off on Christmas involvement in court any new family quarrels but concentrate on the joy that brings a smile and, perhaps, a little bit of understanding. It reminds us that Christmas presents can resolve problems and make amends easier.
9. “Nothing says holiday cheer like a Christmas sweater that itches and a fruitcake that could break a window.” —Jimmy Fallon
Fallon jokingly portrayed the adverse side of sometimes-popular Christmas customs: the sweater that rubs or itches all over and the fruitcake too tough for a window. This witty quote is perfect for enjoying a laugh at clichés which are over-references that are beyond the limit, as everybody finds himself enduring them. It’s a humorous yet gentle poke at the hidden charm in even the weirdest traditions of the holiday.
10. “Let’s be naughty and save Santa the trip.” —Gary Allan
This witty quote gives a new twist to Santa’s good old list. Allan’s statement proposes the mischievous aspect of Christmas when sometimes it does not have a problem with getting away with things. Needless to say for a Christmas party or a hilarious holiday card this piece quotes will invoke cruel fun from those who would rather be mischief-makers.
11. “Christmas is the season for kindling the fire of hospitality in the hall and the genial flame of charity in the heart.” — Washington Irving
Irving gives depth and humor to the holiday’s emphasis on hospitality thus adding warmth to it. Although some might joke about the overabundance of guests, there is an actual joy that comes from opening your home and heart to people during the holidays.
12. “Christmas magic is silent. You don’t hear it—you feel it. You know it. You believe it.”
Milne’s explanation of Christmas magic’s quietness is a nice and soft hint of the holiday’s quiet charm. This quote expresses that kind of nostalgia for those unnoticeable magic-like emotions that give Christmas its characteristic of being the season that brings smiles and warmth even without clear music to it. This quote offers a perfect reminder of the importance of stillness in the Christmas season.
13. “Christmas: the only time of year you can sit in front of a dead tree and eat candy out of socks.”
This quote by an anonymous body humorously teases the Christmas traditions by showing how they might seem somewhat overbearing to a stranger. The consumption of candies from stockings hung on the fireplaces around the Christmas tree is, definitely, a weird thing to do if one pays attention to it.
14. “I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store, and he asked for my autograph.” — Shirley Temple
Shirley’s account has a sweet side to it even though it is also as funny as it is, clearly, recalling kindness in children’s innocence together with a slight touch of disillusionment. Remembering Santa as the fade of the illusion that it was too early might just be the cutest experience you had when you realized fantasy is here with us.
15. “I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, ‘Toys not included.’” — Bernard Manning
This quote is so funny because it is the actual epitome of exasperation with shopping during the Christmas season. Manna? (just) shows that his witty idea of balancing expectation management would evoke a smile have us realize that, time comes, these tiny ironies are what make Christmas enjoyable.
16. “Dear Santa, I can explain…”
This is by far the best example of teasing Santa when one doesn’t have a plausible excuse! It is just a witty phrase that kids throw around, in a light way, to remind us that we all have flaws. The Christmas card or board might not be perfect for the season, yet Santa is happy nevertheless to see the spirit of Christmas winking at him.
Conclusion
Christmas may be a time of fun, fondling, and little fights. These quotes will be the perfect way to greet the season with a smile even if not everything goes according to plan.
Share these comical sentences with your near and dear ones, and anybody who could use some good laughs. Remember what humor can do in the right situation to make even the craziest holiday moments become treasured memories. Thus, go ahead, give someone the chance to have a good laugh, let your joy be felt by everyone, and have these sayings wonderfully brighten up your Christmas gatherings!
